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burdened with pain

weighed down with shame

bowed over

haunted by memories

and a life that refuses to change

i'm so sick of feeling lost

i've tried making friends with the dark

but it's too damn quiet in here

and i hate sitting alone-

hearing myself breathe

it sickens me

self hatred runs thru me so deep

i resent all the time spent here

why the fuck can't i be done with this?

this trek thru madness yet nothingness

if nothing makes sense

then after awhile it all

starts to look the same

after awhile

you forget what it's like

in the light

with no pain

the sun on your face

laughing

there's something to be said

for that motto

"live free or die"

too weak to fight

too sick too care

too angry to heal

i hate what i've become

hiding from the sun

after awhile it just seems futile

i live in a police state

trapped by intangible walls

yet ironically enough

i fear going to jail

i guess i just don't want

concrete evidence of living out my life

imprisoned by society's

self imposed conditions

there was a time

so far away

when i almost believed

i almost could feel

pain was a beautiful, touchable thing

lust, love, rebellion, despair

how has the world been reduced to this

fake, hollowed shell

of its former self

as i cry artificial tears